My whole life I have thought that the way to get my shit together was by hating myself so much that I couldn’t take it anymore and I HAD to change. But it hasn’t worked so far, it’s just made everything worse. Still, I’m scared that accepting my faults means that I will get complacent and stuck and that I won’t be able to change them. Then I watched this video, and it made sense to me. It will take a long time to change years of negative thinking, but I feel like watching this once a day will help.
Well, I got a Moleskine large daily planner:
to function as my weight loss/wellness journal. It’s got the times written on it so I can track what I ate when, when I exercised, and how much water I drank. It feels good so far…I can’t use MFP, I’ve found that it just replaced my bulimia (I’m a non-purging bulimic, btw) and it made me feel healthier, but I was obsessed with it and used to ask it permission before eating and lie to it, and that wasn’t healthy. So it’s a nice alternative to My Fitness Pal and it lets me be aware and accountable for what I’m eating without counting calories obsessively.